How to have Peace of Mind

source: Internet

1. Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked:

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others’ affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act inexactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget:

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive & Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yours if in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous:

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody’s life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly:

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour every day, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:

An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or chanting of God’s name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:

Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

How can I improve my verbal communication?

Picked up this answer from Quora..

1. Practice writing out your answers using Quora:
I'm serious, there is not a question in Quora you can't find. If I'm tasked for a speech or speaking engagement, I'll often go to Quora, find a similar question and write an answer for it, making iterations over time.

I think writing consistently and being able to structure out your answer in an almost "muscle-reflex" capacity has enabled me more "time" to articulate and push my logic further.

2. Ask yourself all the hard questions and answer them out-loud:
I do this very often. When I'm at home, I'll ask myself a hard question that's very relevant to my current work or industry and will give myself time to answer them out-loud.

First time I did this, I couldn't string together four sentences intelligently but after being diligent with it, I actually enjoy addressing those topics and revel in taking a different direction to the subject altogether.

3. In reference to #2, record yourself:
Like how a singer will record him/herself singing and monitor it, making a conscious effort to assess your speech patterns is great for improving how you talk.

You'll be more cognizant of how you vocalize and project your voice and message.

4. Listen to and watch intelligent speech, people and mimic
Something I did for years and years and I still do. You can download pod-casts of Business Week, Economist pretty easily; the speakers and writers there are a very high caliber so mimicking their speech patterns can really help.

I constantly watch TV shows in English. Shows like the Westwing to weekly content like 60 Minutes are very entertaining but also demonstrate good language structure.

Is it good for people to fail occasionally?

 

 

 By Lucy Wallis BBC News

In our highly competitive world, we prize success and hate it when things go wrong, but is there actually a value in failing?

When Irish author Flann O'Brien submitted the manuscript for his second book, The Third Policeman, to a London publisher in 1940 it was rejected.

But rather than admit this lack of success to his friends, he pretended the manuscript had accidentally blown out of the boot of his car on a trip to Donegal and had been lost forever.

"This was a ruinous thing to say because he couldn't then turn around and say, 'Oh I've found it again,' so the manuscript sat very openly on his sideboard until his death," says Booker Prize-winning author Anne Enright. She has selected O'Brien's story to appear in an exhibition entitled Fail Better at the Science Gallery at Trinity College, Dublin.

"The year after [O'Brien's] death, his wife got it published to a keen reception."

If O'Brien had been more open about his failure to get the book printed, he might have seen his work published within his lifetime.

The aim of the Science Gallery's exhibition is to encourage debate about the informative aspects of failure and how it can encourage greater creativity in all aspects of life.

We are all scared of failing and having to admit errors or mistakes to our peers, and this fear heightens as we grow towards adulthood, says Heather Hanbury, headmistress of Wimbledon High School. In 2012 the private girls' school held a "failure week" to teach its pupils how to become more resilient and learn from their mistakes.

"You're not born with fear of failure, it's not an instinct, it's something that grows and develops in you as you get older. Very young children have no fear of failure at all. They have great fun trying new things and learning very fast," says Hanbury.

Flann O'Brien (right) could not tell his friends in the Palace Bar, Dublin the truth about his book

She says fear of failure can be crippling as it stops us from taking risks. This automatically cuts off new opportunities in life.

"Our focus here is on failing well, on being good at failure. What I mean by this is taking the risk and then learning from it if it doesn't work," says Hanbury.

"There's no point in failing and then dealing with it by pretending it didn't happen, or blaming someone else, that would be a wasted opportunity to learn more about yourself and perhaps to identify gaps in your skills, experiences or qualifications. Once you've identified the learning you can then take action to make a difference."

Continue reading the main story

“Start Quote

Perfectionism is the enemy of achievement”

End Quote Heather Hanbury, headmistress of Wimbledon High School

She says a fear of failure often affects girls more than boys because girls are "programmed" from a very young age by their parents to please adults.

"If there's one thing I would say to parents of young children, particularly girls, it would be, try very hard not to constantly show strong approval of daughters doing lovely things to please you. Show approval when they throw off the fetters and perhaps are a bit naughty," says Hanbury.

"This is not only a danger at home, but it happens in school at a very young age as well. So as the girls get older, they recognise that the way to keep adults happy is to get things right, and getting things right means avoiding failure at all costs."

Hanbury says the quest for perfectionism is "the enemy of achievement" and that the more we seek to get everything exactly right, the less we actually get done.

Shedding the stigma that is associated with failing can also open the door to greater victories.

When tennis player Andy Murray failed to beat Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final in 2012 he broke down in tears, and the wait for a British Wimbledon champion seemed ever more elusive. But some believe it freed him from the fear of failure and Murray went on the following year to triumph against Novak Djokovic, ending the 77-year wait for a British men's champion.

Andy Murray celebrates his win over Novak Djokovic in the Wimbledon final in 2013

When players fail in the sporting arena the public response can often be unsympathetic - such as the reaction to England's crushing defeat by Australia in the 2013-14 Ashes.

Author and former professional cricketer Ed Smith played three test matches for England, but admits to feeling a sense of personal pain that he did not fulfil his original aspiration to play more than 50.

“Start Quote

If the failure was our own fault we become more tolerant of human error”

End Quote Author and former professional cricketer, Ed Smith

Smith says failing can help "conquer a sense of entitlement", and relieve the pressure we place on ourselves. The more practice we get at failing, the more equipped we are to deal with it, says Smith.

"As an experienced player I try to think about losing and then regaining form as like putting the wheels back on a bike," says Smith. "The first time is the hardest, you're not sure you'll ever get moving again, but once you've experienced a few cycles of boom and bust, the dark days are less daunting. Having watched the wheels fall off before, we are better equipped to put them back on again."

He says that off the playing field, failure can also encourage a greater sense of empathy and understanding.

"If the failure was our own fault we become more tolerant of human error, and if the failure was the result of external factors, of circumstance - an unkind coalition beyond our control - then we learn about the limits of willpower and self-determination. We see how our own agency interacts with context and fortune."

Violinist Vanessa-Mae came last in her event at Sochi 2014, but was thrilled with her achievement

Learning to embrace failure means we still have to be honest about the amount of effort we put in to any venture.

Within the business field, for example, the failure rate is high. Over 80% of start-up businesses fail within the first five years. Stewart McTavish, director of IdeaSpace in Cambridge - a community and support network for entrepreneurs - says they encourage people to make a distinction between honest and dishonest failure.

"If your venture doesn't work out, but you did everything you could to make it a success, that's what we call an honest failure, and that's seen as an honourable thing," says McTavish.

"Whereas if your venture didn't work out because you spent too much time at networking events, you weren't doing your customer research and you were just lazing around, then that's what we would call a dishonest failure."

If failure can train us to be more courageous in life, we should also be just as brave at recognising and shouting about success.

The year after failure week, Wimbledon High School ran "blow your own trumpet" week. As Hanbury explains, it is not only time to take the "sting out of failure" but also the "embarrassment out of pride."