The Effectiveness of Self–Reflection

By Kazuhiko Sato, Business Consultants, Inc.

Limits to what is possible to achieve are created by our actions and limits to our actions are created within our minds. The phlosophy, values or ideas behind our actions can be reffer to as mental model. So in order to remove limits to our possiblities we have to change our mental models.

What is Self-Reflection

Having recently made a mistake that caused trouble and worry for others, I was recommended by my supervisor to set aside some time each day to make self–reflections and write them down. Self–reflection is like writing a diary, where you look back on the day’s events and write them down. Through self–reflection, you revise your mental model and make changes to your own actions. Sometimes you really do not know what is going on and what you are doing as the day goes by. You perform actions that might prove detrimental towards your potential goals, or the goals of others or a business, but you may not actually realize what you are doing is hindering possible growth. However, by looking back at the actions, what took place and what you did during a given event, you are more likely to recognize these issues and identify what might be the trigger points for these activities and actions.
The steps that are required in order to create such a self-reflection journal include:

1. Write down what you experienced during the day. Always write down the events at the end of the day and never skip a day, as events become much more difficult to discern, which in turn might cause you to forget aspects of the event or mentally alter the event entirely
2. Deduce the mental model to which your actions were attributed
3. Identify the starting point of when you first came to the understanding of these specific events and when you started to think or act the way that you do (you might not be able to remember the very first time, but attempt to think back as far as you possibly can).
4. Think of what mental model you should have or what actions you should take in the future in order to be more successful. By noting what you need to do in order to be more successful, you are more likely to actually perform these actions and correct the situations that are causing the problems.

Results of Self-Reflection

After one month of practicing the activity, I began to realize that my everyday life — which had seemed rather uneventful — was, in fact, made up of a variety of experiences. I then came to see that behind everything I said or did, there lay a set of my own preconceptions. As a result of continuing this process of reflection, I became more attentive to people’s facial expressions and words so that I could grasp their intent without being influenced by my preconceptions. I was able to spend time being more focused. That is, the mental model that had been built inside me over many years — which lay behind the actions that caused my mistake — was beginning to change, and my actions began to change too.
While self–reflection is effective for preventing the same mistakes from happening twice; it started off originally as an approach for promoting actions that lead toward achieving more. It is clear that in transforming one’s behavior or engaging in innovative endeavors, the person’s mental model influences the outcome. In order to be successful at various things, I intend to not only learn new skills and acquire information, but to also value these moments of inner self–reflection.
By using these specific techniques for individuals inside of the office or place of work, it gives everyone the chance to see where they can improve and work towards their ultimate goals.

Less-Confident People Are More Successful

Originally at HBR

There is no bigger cliché in business psychology than the idea that high self-confidence is key to career success. It is time to debunk this myth. In fact, low self-confidence is more likely to make you successful.

After many years of researching and consulting on talent, I’ve come to the conclusion that self-confidence is only helpful when it’s low. Sure, extremely low confidence is not helpful: it inhibits performance by inducing fear, worry, and stress, which may drive people to give up sooner or later. But just-low-enough confidence can help you recalibrate your goals so they are (a) more realistic and (b) attainable. Is that really a problem? Not everyone can be CEO of Coca Cola or the next Steve Jobs.

If your confidence is low, rather than extremely low, you stand a better chance of succeeding than if you have high self-confidence. There are three main reasons for this:

1. Lower self-confidence makes you pay attention to negative feedback and be self-critical:Most people get trapped in their optimistic biases, so they tend to listen to positive feedback and ignore negative feedback. Although this may help them come across as confident to others, in any area of competence (e.g., education, business, sports or performing arts) achievement is 10% performance and 90% preparation. Thus, the more aware you are of your soft spots and weaknesses, the better prepared you will be.
   Low self-confidence may turn you into a pessimist, but when pessimism teams-up with ambition it often produces outstanding performance. To be the very best at anything, you will need to be your harshest critic, and that is almost impossible when your starting point is high self-confidence. Exceptional achievers always experience low levels of confidence and self-confidence, but they train hard and practice continually until they reach an acceptable level of competence. Indeed, success is the best medicine for your insecurities.
2. Lower self-confidence can motivate you to work harder and prepare more: If you are serious about your goals, you will have more incentive to work hard when you lack confidence in your abilities. In fact, low confidence is only demotivating when you are not serious about your goals.
   Most people like the idea of being exceptional, but not enough to do what it takes to achieve it. Most people want to be slim, healthy, attractive and successful, but few people are willing to do what it takes to achieve it — which suggests that they don’t really want these things as much as they think. As the legendary Paul Arden (ex creative director at Saatchi & Saatchi) noted: “I wantmeans: if I want it enough I will get it. Getting what you want means making the decisions you need to make to get what you want.”. If you really want what you say you want, then, your low confidence will only make you work harder to achieve it — because it will indicate a discrepancy between your desired goal and your current state.
3. Lower self-confidence reduces the chances of coming across as arrogant or being deluded. Although we live in a world that worships those who worship themselves — from Donald Trump to Lady Gaga to the latest reality TV “star” — the consequences of hubris are now beyond debate. According to Gallup, over 60% of employees either dislike or hate their jobs, and the most common reason is that they have narcissistic bosses. If managers were less arrogant, fewer employees would be spending their working hours on Facebook, productivity rates would go up, and turnover rates would go down.
   Lower self-confidence reduces not only the chances of coming across as arrogant, but also of being deluded. Indeed, people with low self-confidence are more likely to admit their mistakes — instead of blaming others — and rarely take credit for others’ accomplishments. This is arguably the most important benefit of low self-confidence because it points to the fact that low self-confidence can bring success, not just to individuals but also to organizations and society.

In brief, if you are serious about your goals, low self-confidence can be your biggest ally to accomplish them. It will motivate you to work hard, help you work on your limitations, and stop you from being a jerk, deluded, or both. It is therefore time debunk the myth: High self-confidence isn’t a blessing, and low self-confidence is not a curse — in fact, it is the other way around.

10 Keys To Writing A Speech

  Jeff Schmitt Contributor

“This is my time.”
That attitude will kill a speech every time.
You’ve probably sat through some lousy speeches. Despite the speakers’ renown, you eventually tuned them out over their self-indulgent tangents and pointless details. You understood something these speakers apparently didn’t: This was your time. They were just guests. And your attention was strictly voluntary.
Of course, you’ll probably deliver that speech someday. And you’ll believe your speech will be different. You’ll think, “I have so many important points to make.” And you’ll presume that your presence and ingenuity will dazzle the audience. Let me give you a reality check: Your audience will remember more about who sat with them than anything you say. Even if your best lines would’ve made Churchill envious, some listeners will still fiddle with their smart phones.

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In writing a speech, you have two objectives: Making a good impression and leaving your audience with two or three takeaways. The rest is just entertainment. How can you make those crucial points? Consider these strategies:
1) Be Memorable: Sounds easy in theory. Of course, it takes discipline and imagination to pull it off. Many times, an audience may only remember a single line. For example, John F. Kennedy is best known for this declaration in his 1961 inaugural address: “And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what can do for your country.” Technically, the line itself uses contrast to grab attention. More important, it encapsulated the main point of Kennedy’s speech: We must sublimate ourselves and serve to achieve the greater good. So follow Kennedy’s example: Condense your theme into a 15-20 word epigram and build everything around it top-to-bottom.
There are other rhetorical devices that leave an impression. For example, Ronald Reagan referred to America as “a shining city on the hill” in speeches. The image evoked religious heritage, freedom, and promise. And listeners associated those sentiments with Reagan’s message. Conversely, speakers can defy their audience’s expectations to get notice. In the movie Say Anything, the valedictorian undercut the canned optimism of high school graduation speeches with two words: “Go back.” In doing so, she left her audience speechless…for a moment, at least.
Metaphors…Analogies…Surprise…Axioms. They all work. You just need to build up to them…and place them in the best spot (preferably near the end).
2) Have a Structure: Think back on a terrible speech. What caused you to lose interest? Chances are, the speaker veered off a logical path. Years ago, our CEO spoke at our national meeting. He started, promisingly enough, by outlining the roots of the 2008 financial collapse. Halfway through those bullet points, he jumped to emerging markets in Vietnam and Brazil. Then, he drifted off to 19th century economic theory. By the time he closed, our CEO had made two points: He needed ADD medication – and a professional speechwriter!
Audiences expect two things from a speaker: A path and a destination. They want to know where you’re going and why. So set the expectation near your opening on what you’ll be covering. As you write and revise, focus on structuring and simplifying. Remove anything that’s extraneous, contradictory, or confusing. Remember: If it doesn’t help you get your core message across, drop it.
3) Don’t Waste the Opening: Too often, speakers squander the time when their audience is most receptive: The opening. Sure, speakers have people to thank. Some probably need time to get comfortable on stage. In the meantime, the audience silently suffers.
When you write, come out swinging. Share a shocking fact or statistic. Tell a humorous anecdote related to your big idea. Open with a question – and have your audience raise their hands. Get your listeners engaged early. And keep the preliminaries short. You’re already losing audience members every minute you talk. Capitalize on the goodwill and momentum you’ll enjoy in your earliest moments on stage.
4) Strike the Right Tone: Who is my audience? Why are they here? And what do they want? Those are questions you must answer before you even touch the keyboard. Writing a speech involves meeting the expectations of others, whether it’s to inform, motivate, entertain, or even challenge. To do this, you must adopt the right tone.
Look at your message. Does it fit with the spirit of the event? Will it draw out the best in people? Here’s a bit of advice: If you’re speaking in a professional setting, focus on being upbeat and uplifting. There’s less risk. Poet Maya Angelou once noted, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Even if your audience forgets everything you said, consider your speech a success if they leave with a smile and a greater sense of hope and purpose. That’s a message in itself. And it’s one they’ll share.
5) Humanize Yourself: You and your message are one-and-the-same. If your audience doesn’t buy into you, they’ll resist your message too. It’s that simple. No doubt, your body language and delivery will leave the biggest impression. Still, there are ways you can use words to connect.
Crack a one liner about your butterflies; everyone can relate to being nervous about public speaking. Share a story about yourself, provided it relates to (or transitions to) your points. Throw in references to your family, to reflect you’re trustworthy. And write like you’re having a casual conversation with a friend. You’re not preaching or selling. You’re just being you. On stage, you can be you at your best.
6) Repeat Yourself: We’ve all been there. When someone is speaking, we’ll drift off to a Caribbean beach or the Autobahn. Or, we’ll find ourselves lost and flustered when we can’t grasp a concept. Once you’ve fallen behind, it’s nearly impossible to pay attention. What’s the point?
In writing a speech, repetition is the key to leaving an impression. Hammer home key words, phrases, and themes. Always be looking for places to tie back and reinforce earlier points. And repeat critical points as if they were a musical refrain.
As a teenager, my coach continuously reminded us that “nothing good happens after midnight.” He’d lecture us on the dangers of partying, fighting, peer pressure, and quitting. After a while, my teammates and I just rolled our eyes. Eventually, we encountered those temptations. When I’d consider giving in, coach would growl “Schmitty” disapprovingly in my head. Despite my resistance, coach had found a way to get me to college unscathed. He simply repeated his message over-and-over until it stuck.
Some audience members may get annoyed when you repeat yourself. But don’t worry how they feel today. Concern yourself with this question: What will they remember six months from now?
7) Use Transitions: Sometimes, audiences won’t recognize what’s important. That’s why you use transitional phrases to signal intent. For example, take a rhetorical question like “What does this mean” – and follow it with a pause. Silence gets attention – and this tactic creates anticipation (along with awakening those who’ve drifted off). Similarly, a phrase like “So here’s the lesson” also captures an audience’s interest. It alerts them that something important is about to be shared. Even if they weren’t paying attention before, they can tune in now and catch up.
8) Include Theatrics: During his workshops, Dr. Stephen Covey would fill a glass bowl nearly full with sand. From there, he’d ask a volunteer to place rocks into the bowl. In the exercise, rocks represented essentials like family, job, worship, and exercise, while the bowl signified the volunteer’s time and energy. It never failed: The volunteer couldn’t fit every rock in the bowl. The sand – which embodied day-to-day activities like transporting children, shopping, or reading – took up too much space. Something had to be cut. Usually, it was something essential.
Covey would then encourage his volunteer to consider another option: Start with placing a rock in the bowl, adding some sand, and then alternating rocks and sand until the bowl was full. Like magic, there was suddenly enough space for both, as the sand gradually filled any gaps between the rocks. The message: Maintain balance. Never lose sight of the essentials as you tend to the day-to-day (and vice versa).
Of course, Covey could’ve made his point verbally and moved on. Instead, he illustrated it with household items in a way his audience wouldn’t soon forget. If you have a smaller audience (or a video screen), consider incorporating visuals. Keep the props, storyline, and lesson simple. When you’re done, leave everything out to symbolize your point to your audience. Whatever you do, don’t play it safe. If you do, your speech will be forgotten in no time.
9) End Strong: In 2004, I attended a Direct Marketing Association (DMA) conference. I don’t recall much about our keynote speaker, except that he was tall and southern. I can’t even remember what his address was about. But I’ll never forget the story he used to close his speech.
The speaker was a friend of Jerry Richardson, owner of the NFL’s Carolina Panthers. A few years earlier, the Panthers had drafted a fiery wide receiver named Steve Smith. While Smith excelled on the field, he was a nightmare in the locker room. Eventually, Smith was arrested for assaulting a teammate during film study.
Already reeling from bad publicity from other player incidents, Richardson was pressured to cut Smith. But he chose a different path. Richardson vowed to spend more time with Smith. He decided that Smith would be better served with guidance and caring than further punishment. Eventually, Richardson’s patience paid off. Smith became the Panthers’ all-time leading receiver – and scored a touchdown in their only Super Bowl appearance. In fact, Smith still plays for the Panthers to this day.
If the speaker intended to remind me how powerful that personal attention and forgiveness could be, he succeeded in spades. Fact is, your close is what your audience will remember. So recap your biggest takeaway. Tie everything together. Share a success story. Make a call to action. Don’t hold anything back. Your ending is what audience will ultimately talk about when they head out the door.
10) Keep it Short: What is the worst sin of public speaking? It’s trying to do too much! Your audience’s attention will naturally wane after a few minutes. They have other places to be – and don’t want to be held hostage. And the longer you stay on stage, the more likely you are to stray and make mistakes. So make your points and sit down. Never forget: This is their time, not yours.

How does one become a better conversationalist?

Found a beautiful post on Quora...

For the short term:

1. Ask others open ended questions about themselves
2. Listen to what they say with genuine interest.
3. Ask more questions about what you've heard
4. Express some genuine positive and/or supportive remarks about what they've told you.
5. Relate your own similar experiences and still maintain self control in not talking just about yourself.
6. Invite others who might be present to participate in an ongoing conversation.

For the long term:

1. Read lots of books on lots of different subjects.Explore diverse subjects that interest you and have an open perspective on the world, life and people.
2. Learn a good joke or two that are appropriate for all occasions. Use them sparingly.
3. Take an improvisation class,
4. People watch for at least an hour at a time.
5. Take a chance and practice by going somewhere public (a coffee house perhaps or other social setting) make polite short term conversations with people about your surroundings or perhaps pay a sincere and non predatory compliment to someone. Ask about a book you see someone reading.
6. Learn to be yourself, have fun in the moment and don't overstay, overstep or dominate a conversation. Explore other people's ideas.
7. Understand that people have different perspectives and opinions. Always preface your opinions with "It is just my opinion but.." validate other's opinion with "hmm..that is an interesting perspective... I will have to think about that."

21 Suggestions for Success

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

Ways to Make Gobs of Money - Seriously

Start with nothing and grow up in a tough neighborhood. Lots of wildly successful people started with nothing and fought hard every day of their lives to make it. Starbucks founder and CEO Howard Schultz and Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein grew up not far from where I did in Brooklyn. Competition and adversity breed great leaders.

Do what you love ... and pray there's a market for it. Steve Jobs said, "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle." He was absolutely right. If you follow your passion - and so do customers - the money will follow.

Follow the yellow brick road ... to Silicon Valley. The high-tech industry has created enormous wealth for millions of people, and not just top executives, either. Microsoft alone accounts for an estimated 12,000 millionaires among former or current employees. The reason? Technology startups are the land of equity and opportunity.

Own your own business and live like a monk. Two thirds of America's millionaires are self-employed. The vast majority are small business owners who live on budgets well below their means, invest their money, and never received any kind of inheritance, according to the book "The Millionaire Next Door." Do you really need that new car or iPad? Nope.

Take risks, make mistakes and trust your gut. Most people are either ridiculously risk averse or take dumb risks they know they shouldn't take. Take smart risks, the ones that make sense to you. Trust your gut. You'll be wrong more often than not but that's okay. Nobody ever got ahead by playing it safe.

Work your living tail off and make lots of sacrifices. Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is a serious workaholic who works 90 hours a week. So does Elon Musk, who runs two companies and is not much of a delegator. The same was true of Steve Jobs when he ran Apple and Pixar. You get out of life what you put in.

Manufacture your own luck. It's said that luck is when opportunity meets preparedness. While it's true that I've been very, very lucky, it's also true that I never stopped searching for opportunities and never hesitated to go for it when I found even a glimmer of a possibility. My advice: quit tweeting and linking and get out and network with real people in the real world.

Diversify, diversify, diversify. That age-old axiom is so true it isn't funny. I have an old friend - a former senior executive like me - whose investment strategy has always been to put his money in as many different places as possible. It takes time and effort but the payoff is huge. Save your money, invest it wisely and diversify.

Of course, you can always call yourself a social media entrepreneur or a self-branded CEO of one and generate all sorts of free online content while the folks at Google and Facebook get rich. The truth is, nobody ever got anywhere by doing what everyone else is doing. You may as well just buy lottery tickets and pray for a miracle.

Steve Tobak

Steve Tobak is managing partner of Invisor Consulting -- a Silicon Valley-based management and strategy consulting firm -- and a former senior executive of the technology industry

Read more: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/230582#ixzz2q2BAgy8e

5 Places Your Great Ideas Are Hiding And How to Set Them Free

BY STEPHEN KEY

Studying the marketplace is one of the best ways to come up with new product ideas. If you ask the right questions and look closely, you will find opportunities to invent everywhere. When you study the marketplace for ideas, you're all but eliminating the need to ask yourself whether people are willing to pay for your product and if they need and want it.

When you pull an idea out of thin air, you have to find out if there's actually a need or desire for it. Remember: you don't have to reinvent the wheel to come up with a great idea. I've supported my family for decades by making small improvements to existing ideas.

Here are five places to look for your golden opportunity:

1.With your competition. What do leaders in your industry have planned for the future? Where is the industry headed? These are big questions, but they can be answered in part by checking out your competitions' patent applications. Many patent applications in the United States are published 18 months after they are filed. I don't spend a ton of time perusing the USPTO or doing Google patent searches, but I like to know what my competitors are up to. Checking out other innovations can be a great way to jog your creativity.

2. Inside product reviews. Check out reviews on Amazon.com and other websites. What are consumers saying about products in your industry? What are their complaints? What do they wish were different? You may be able to come up with a better solution to a particular, persistent problem you now know people would pay for.

3. At trade shows. Trade shows are great places to discover opportunities for invention. They always have a special section for new products. This is the first place I visit when I arrive. The excitement and energy at a trade show is palpable. It's impossible not to listen to the speakers, make new relationships, enjoy the special events and not get fired up. There's always at least one speaker who focuses on problems plaguing the industry. Can you be the one to find a solution?

4. In the aisles of your local retailer. Talk to store managers and employees during a quiet time and ask them what kinds of problems customers are having. What are they looking for when they come in? Are they satisfied? They know what is selling and what isn't. There is so much knowledge to be gained simply by asking. Form relationships and tap into that knowledge to jumpstart your brainstorming.

5. In your online search results. There are many articles published online by writers who report on the minute ins and outs of an industry. For example, because I am still inventing for the packaging industry, I keep abreast of what's going on simply by searching for "hot packaging trends" online.

Identifying opportunities ripe for innovation is just the first step. You still need to put your creativity to use and come up with solutions to the problems you identified, inspired by the new trends in your industry. All of these tips share a common thread: In order to keep coming up with great new ideas, you need to stay up-to-date and question the industry you're interested in. Don't get complacent. Get creative.

 

The author is an Entrepreneur contributor. The opinions expressed are those of the writer.

Stephen Key

Stephen Key is an inventor, author, speaker and co-founder of InventRight, LLC., a Glenbrook, Nev.-based company that educates entrepreneurs in how to bring ideas to market.

Read more: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/228728#ixzz2q20VzxJZ