10 tricks to become a loving, positive person

from Times of India

It's one thing to wax eloquent on positivity, but quite another to be a positive person at heart.

Despite believing to have a positive outlook, we invariably weigh the cons first, consider several times before sparing a compliment, and broadcast only the odds when someone counts on us for advice. What's more, we prefer needless sarcasm for humour, manage a wry smile when something is genuinely funny, and believe deep down that the glass is actually half empty.

We live in denial of our inherent negativity for the most part, and often wonder why the world around is so mean and reckless. At work, we never fail telling our juniors how meeting deadlines can be a tough proposition, and not to think too 'out of the box' to impress the boss. In short, we never tire telling all concerned how tough things can be! Unlike dogs we may not be born eternal optimists, but positivity is something that can be imbibed even if a tad forcibly; such as by trying to tweak our sense of humour, the way we react to a given situation, by being more pleasant and believing others too have a mind, and by smiling each time somebody says 'thank you'.

While positivity is a state of mind, the answer lies in our perspective. Clinical psychologist and lifestyle advisor Dr S.K Sharma shares his ideas on how to be a positive person everyday.

Have the desire: First thing first, to become a positive person one must have a strong desire to be positive. And the desire will come only if you are convinced that becoming a positive person will enhance the quality of life. Positivity is like an aura, and you know you are a positive person when people start trusting you, random people become polite with you, colleagues at work start patronising you, and you start building rapport easily.

Be realistic: Do not try to become a saint. Becoming a positive person does not mean you can never have any negative emotion or encounter any negative situation. It is the overall attitude that matters. Don't get bogged down by failure, and disappointed when your expectations are not met. Mentally, you should always be calculating a way out of difficult situations come what may.

Experiment: Be a keen observer. Use everyday life incidents to see how you can manage them in a more positive manner. These will serve as perfect instances to turn your outlook more positive. For starters, contemplate how you could have better handled a situation by being less hostile and more indulgent. Come up with five ways that could have saved the day, and learn to take things at face value sometimes. Remember, your ability to trust the other person also reflects your genuineness.

Speech and body language: Try and make positive words a part of your daily lingo, and work on your body language in way that you come across as friendly and approachable. Look amused when something is amusing, laugh when something is funny, congratulate when someone's bought something new, and give others a chance to narrate their side of the story. Never think you are the only interesting, knowing one around.

Company: One way to becoming positive is to seek positive company as both positivity and negativity are infectious. If the people you spend most of your time with are grumpy or have a pessimistic standpoint, you'll find yourself mirroring the same emotions before a different set of people inadvertently. In order to inculcate positivity it is imperative that your friend circle is a positive, energetic, and a happy bunch. You'll find yourself carrying the same positivity everywhere you go.

Activities: Do not remain idle and brood. Take up positive activities with others or in isolation. Share a joke, narrate a pleasant incident, take part in sporting activities, go for a run in the evening after work, have healthy sex, and you'll find yourself bubbling with positive energy.

Take it easy: Everyday life is bound to give you shocks. Be prepared to minimise impact and shrug it off. For instance, you may get too hassled everyday while driving to work or trying to park your car. When you accept the fact that certain things cannot be changed, you'll be more at ease with yourself and those around too.

Learn yoga: Says yoga teacher and nutritionist, Abhilasha Kale, "Do pranayam everyday as it lets you focus and meditate. Not only does it secrete happy hormones but also creates a sense of awareness within you." With the help of yogic asanas you control your breathing, and by way of it, control your mind from wandering. Every time you do yoga, you feel a surge of positive energy through your body that calms your nerves, soothes your mind, elevates your mood, and not to mention enhances your level of tolerance.

Maintain a diary: Instead of recounting all events of the day, filter out only the positive ones and make a note of them. It could be anything trivial from your bus arriving on time, your mom cooking a delicious breakfast, to remembering to pay the bills on time. When we look for positivity in the little things that make our lives worthwhile, we leave no room for negativity. "Try consciously practising this for 10 days, and at the end of day ten when you read your diary back you'll only have memories of all the good things that happened to you," she asserts.

Say 'thank you': Thank god, thank your parents, friends, and thank yourself for all the hard work you did, for everything you achieved. Says Abhilasha, "Saying thank you frequently makes you humble, and a humble person is seldom cynical."

Try these methods, and you'll be surprised when others notice the change in you. 

23 daily habits that will make you smarter

from Times of India

Getting smarter isn't something that happens overnight. Instead, you have to build your intelligence every day through intentional daily habits.

In a recent Quora thread, "What would you do to be a little smarter every single day?", readers shared their advice on good habits you can establish.

Here are some simple actions that could help you become a smarter person.

1. Come up with 10 ideas every day. Think about how to reduce poverty, how to solve a daily problem you have, interesting movie ideas, or anything. It doesn't matter what subject your ideas fall into, as long as you're working your brain and your idea muscles. Your list might even lead to a new startup idea or writing subject. — Claudia Azula Altucher

2. Read the newspaper. It will help you become more aware of the important things happening around the word. You'll learn to form your own opinions and connect the dots between seemingly unrelated things. You'll also have a lot more to talk about at parties or with friends. — Manas J Saloi

3. Play devil's advocate. Take something you recently learned and generate a unique opinion on it that wouldn't immediately come to mind. Try to support it with evidence, and be open to the idea that new evidence will change your opinion. Repeat this every day, and you'll become much better at thinking outside the box.

If you're feeling stuck, try reading and critically evaluating the editorial section of papers. They will help you understand how other people form arguments and express their opinions. — Peter DePaulo

4. Read a chapter in a fiction or non-fiction book. Aim to read a book a week. You can always find pockets of time to read, whether on your daily commute or while you're waiting in line. Goodreads is a great way to keep track of everything you read and to also find a community of other readers.

Fiction books are great for understanding characters and getting absorbed into another perspective, while non-fiction books are great for introducing you to new topics, from politics to psychology. — Claudia Azula Altucher

5. Instead of watching TV, watch educational videos. Sometimes, it's more fun to watch things about a subject you love than to read about it, and you can learn a lot from other people's experiences.

You can find fun, educational videos on Khan Academy or watch TED talks. You can also find good ones on Youtube's channel SmarterEveryDay. In videos, the information is often presented in a digestible, memorable way, so you can be assured they'll stick. —Hendrik Sleeckx

6. Subscribe to feeds of interesting information. Follow interesting voices on Facebook and Twitter, so you'll always learn something new when you look at your newsfeed or dashboard. For example, if you want to keep up with the latest news in science and technology, subscribe to the "I Fucking Love Science" page on Facebook. You can also follow email newsletters, such as Cal Newport's Study Hacks and Today I Found Out. — Saurabh Shah

7. Check in with your favorite knowledge sources. Every day, scroll through Quora, Stack Overflow, specialty blogs, or any other sources that satiate your hunger for knowledge. This is an extremely easy habit, because other users are curating the content for you, so all you have to do is follow the ones who write about topics interesting to you. Try using Pocket to save articles for later reading, and then try to get through them before going to sleep at night. — Manas J Saloi

8. Share what you learn with other people. If you find someone to debate and analyze ideas with, you can add to each other's knowledge and gain new perspectives. Also, when you can explain ideas to someone else, it means you've definitely mastered the concept. You can even share what you learn without directly talking to someone. Many people like to start blogs so they can engage others in online dialogue. — Mike Xie

9. Make two lists: a list of work-related skills you want to learn now and a list for things you want to achieve in the future. Google Docs is a convenient way to keep track of your lists. For both, decide what you want to learn, compile sources that will teach you these skills, and then work on them each day.

For example, if you work in a computer-science related field, your first list might suggest you learn something new in Python one day or that you try using MongoDB another day.

For your second list, you can think about long-term goals, such as whether you want to go into marketing or architecture. Write down the small steps you need to take to reach that goal, whether it's by reading the experts in those fields or taking classes at a local college. — Manas J Saloi

10. Make an "I Did" list. At the end of each day, write down what you completed. This will help you feel better about all the things you accomplished, especially if you're feeling discouraged. It will also help you reflect on how productive you were and how you can re-structure your to-do lists for the next day. — Claudia Azula Altucher

11. Write down what you learn. You can start a blog or use an app like Inkpad to help you keep track of everything you learn. Not only will this be a great way to keep a record of everything you're doing, but it's also a good source of motivation to keep you accountable. You will want to learn more if you know that at the end of the day you'll have to write about it. — Manas J Saloi

12. Stimulate your mind. Going on a daily run is a great way to get your brain flowing and to keep your mental health in shape. It's also a great way to think through difficult decisions or process new information. — Rick Bruno

13. Take online courses. Check out this list of the most popular online courses for professionals. Make sure you don't overload yourself; commit to one to two and truly focus on them. The syllabi will also keep you on track, so you know you will be doing something every day, whether it's listening to a lecture or working on an assignment. — Manas J Saloi

14. Talk to someone you find interesting. Even if they're strangers, don't be afraid to approach them. Ask about their interests and how they discovered them. Oftentimes, you learn the most from people you barely know. — Manas J Saloi

15. Hang out with people who are smarter than you. Spend as much time as you can with smart people. Every day, you should strive to have a coffee date or walk with someone who inspires you.

Always be humble and willing to learn. Ask as many questions as possible. If you are always around people who are more knowledgeable than you, you'll have no choice but to learn more. —Manas J Saloi

16. Follow your questions. If you see or hear about something cool, don't just let the moment pass. Follow up — pursue your curiosity and find the answer to your question. — Mike Xie

17. Use a word-of-the-day app. You will increase your vocabulary, which can help you in competitive tests like the SAT or GRE, or even just sound more eloquent in daily interactions.

You can also try to learn new vocabulary in a different language. Every day, try to add five to 10 more words to the foreign language you are trying to pursue. You can use LiveMocha, Basuu, or DuoLingo. — Manas J Saloi

18. Do something scary. "Getting out of our comfort zone always makes us wiser." Every day, push yourself a little further. Try public speaking by joining a ToastMasters class, lead a meeting by volunteering a proposal at work, or reach out to someone you really admire by sending a quick letter or email. — Claudia Azula Altucher

19. Explore new areas. If you can't travel every day, at least try to find something new within your hometown. You'll meet different people, learn new facts, and understand something new about the world. It's a lot more productive than staying at home and watching TV. — Manas J Saloi

20. Play "smart" games. Some games, like chess and Scrabble, expand your mind. Challenge yourself when you play them. For example, play Scrabble without a dictionary. You can also solve puzzles via games like Sudoku, 2048, and Doors. — Saurabh Shah

21. Set aside some time to do nothing. Oftentimes, sitting in silence can help you get inspiration and reflect on your day. — Claudia Azula Altucher

22. Adopt a productive hobby. If you have something you can work on every day, from knitting to fly fishing, you can actively learn more just from doing. For instance, you may try to play a new piece of music every day, read a physics textbook, write a few more pages in your novel, or learn a new computer skill. — Mayank Rajput

23. Apply what you learn. If you recently learned a new coding skill or how to play an instrument, make sure you are using that skill in your life as often as possible. Learning by doing is one of the most effective ways to become smarter. — Himanshu Pal

Change the Questions to Change Who You Meet

Rajesh Setty

You want to meet that powerful someone (let’s call him John for now) and you know your friend (let’s call him Joe) knows John. Joe and John have been friends for a while.

Problem solved, you think.

You approach Joe and ask him to introduce you to John.

It should take less than two minutes to make a phone call or send an email to John and really that’s it - problem is solved.

But… that’s not what happened. Joe mentions to you that he will check with John if he wants to take a meeting and if yes, he would be happy to connect you both.

You are heartbroken.

You can’t wait to meet with John and discuss your new project and now Joe is putting all the road blocks along the way.

Not good, you think.

Think about what happened here.

The questions you had going in your mind is:

How can I meet with John so that I can make get some help with my project?

How can I make my project a priority for John?

Now, really think about these questions. They look like the following:

A. How can I meet with John so that I can make get some help with MY project?

B. How can I make MY project a priority for John?

The Real Problem

John is busy, powerful and is involved in many projects of his own. Because of who he is, he gets a LOT of requests to get his "mindshare" on other projects. He has standard responsesfor random people that reach out to him. The answer for such requests is generally NO unless there is a generic answer that could be easily re-purposed for this user. Example, if the question was about “how to pitch to an investor” and John had a blog post or a video about it, John would easily take a few seconds and point them to that resource. If the question involved elaborate thinking and going back and forth with the random person, it was a quick “good luck and good bye” told in a super professional manner - again he had pre-written material to disengage. Not surprising because John has “limited spare time” to handle such requests.

[Note: If John was using a service like WittyParrot, it would take him literally a few seconds to field multiple requests by the power of reuse]

The model changes if the request comes from a person who was referred by a friend. John pays more attention in the order of priority that goes something like this (low to high)

A. The person was referred by an acquaintance
B. The person was referred by a friend
C. The person was referred by a close friend
D. The person was referred by a close friend to whom John is obligated
E. The person was referred by a close friend to whom John is obligated and the request is something that is on a topic of interest for John
F. The person was referred by a close friend to whom John is obligated and the request is something that is on a topic of interest for John AND the requester goes “out of the way” to make it meaningful to John.

The real problem is that very few requests belong to “Type F” and hence gets limited attention from John. His “limited spare time” goes to help “Type F” requests.

The Solution

The solution lies in YOU changing the questions AND your actions. Let us revisit the questions again. They were:

How can I meet with John so that I can make get some help with MY project?

How can I make MY project a priority for John?

Let us change the questions as follows:

A. What should I BECOME and what should I DO to make my project “worthy of” John’s attention?

B. How can I be a “positive possibility” in John’s future?

The shift is not subtle. It is a shift from “ME” to “THEM.” It is about giving first before expecting any return. It is about moving away from being entitled for anyone’s time, attention andmindshare. It is about being and doing that will take you to a place of “deserving.”

Change the questions and you will change who you will meet.

How to have Peace of Mind

source: Internet

1. Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked:

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others’ affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act inexactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget:

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive & Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yours if in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous:

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody’s life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly:

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour every day, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:

An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or chanting of God’s name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:

Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

How can I improve my verbal communication?

Picked up this answer from Quora..

1. Practice writing out your answers using Quora:
I'm serious, there is not a question in Quora you can't find. If I'm tasked for a speech or speaking engagement, I'll often go to Quora, find a similar question and write an answer for it, making iterations over time.

I think writing consistently and being able to structure out your answer in an almost "muscle-reflex" capacity has enabled me more "time" to articulate and push my logic further.

2. Ask yourself all the hard questions and answer them out-loud:
I do this very often. When I'm at home, I'll ask myself a hard question that's very relevant to my current work or industry and will give myself time to answer them out-loud.

First time I did this, I couldn't string together four sentences intelligently but after being diligent with it, I actually enjoy addressing those topics and revel in taking a different direction to the subject altogether.

3. In reference to #2, record yourself:
Like how a singer will record him/herself singing and monitor it, making a conscious effort to assess your speech patterns is great for improving how you talk.

You'll be more cognizant of how you vocalize and project your voice and message.

4. Listen to and watch intelligent speech, people and mimic
Something I did for years and years and I still do. You can download pod-casts of Business Week, Economist pretty easily; the speakers and writers there are a very high caliber so mimicking their speech patterns can really help.

I constantly watch TV shows in English. Shows like the Westwing to weekly content like 60 Minutes are very entertaining but also demonstrate good language structure.

Is it good for people to fail occasionally?

 

 

 By Lucy Wallis BBC News

In our highly competitive world, we prize success and hate it when things go wrong, but is there actually a value in failing?

When Irish author Flann O'Brien submitted the manuscript for his second book, The Third Policeman, to a London publisher in 1940 it was rejected.

But rather than admit this lack of success to his friends, he pretended the manuscript had accidentally blown out of the boot of his car on a trip to Donegal and had been lost forever.

"This was a ruinous thing to say because he couldn't then turn around and say, 'Oh I've found it again,' so the manuscript sat very openly on his sideboard until his death," says Booker Prize-winning author Anne Enright. She has selected O'Brien's story to appear in an exhibition entitled Fail Better at the Science Gallery at Trinity College, Dublin.

"The year after [O'Brien's] death, his wife got it published to a keen reception."

If O'Brien had been more open about his failure to get the book printed, he might have seen his work published within his lifetime.

The aim of the Science Gallery's exhibition is to encourage debate about the informative aspects of failure and how it can encourage greater creativity in all aspects of life.

We are all scared of failing and having to admit errors or mistakes to our peers, and this fear heightens as we grow towards adulthood, says Heather Hanbury, headmistress of Wimbledon High School. In 2012 the private girls' school held a "failure week" to teach its pupils how to become more resilient and learn from their mistakes.

"You're not born with fear of failure, it's not an instinct, it's something that grows and develops in you as you get older. Very young children have no fear of failure at all. They have great fun trying new things and learning very fast," says Hanbury.

Flann O'Brien (right) could not tell his friends in the Palace Bar, Dublin the truth about his book

She says fear of failure can be crippling as it stops us from taking risks. This automatically cuts off new opportunities in life.

"Our focus here is on failing well, on being good at failure. What I mean by this is taking the risk and then learning from it if it doesn't work," says Hanbury.

"There's no point in failing and then dealing with it by pretending it didn't happen, or blaming someone else, that would be a wasted opportunity to learn more about yourself and perhaps to identify gaps in your skills, experiences or qualifications. Once you've identified the learning you can then take action to make a difference."

Continue reading the main story

“Start Quote

Perfectionism is the enemy of achievement”

End Quote Heather Hanbury, headmistress of Wimbledon High School

She says a fear of failure often affects girls more than boys because girls are "programmed" from a very young age by their parents to please adults.

"If there's one thing I would say to parents of young children, particularly girls, it would be, try very hard not to constantly show strong approval of daughters doing lovely things to please you. Show approval when they throw off the fetters and perhaps are a bit naughty," says Hanbury.

"This is not only a danger at home, but it happens in school at a very young age as well. So as the girls get older, they recognise that the way to keep adults happy is to get things right, and getting things right means avoiding failure at all costs."

Hanbury says the quest for perfectionism is "the enemy of achievement" and that the more we seek to get everything exactly right, the less we actually get done.

Shedding the stigma that is associated with failing can also open the door to greater victories.

When tennis player Andy Murray failed to beat Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final in 2012 he broke down in tears, and the wait for a British Wimbledon champion seemed ever more elusive. But some believe it freed him from the fear of failure and Murray went on the following year to triumph against Novak Djokovic, ending the 77-year wait for a British men's champion.

Andy Murray celebrates his win over Novak Djokovic in the Wimbledon final in 2013

When players fail in the sporting arena the public response can often be unsympathetic - such as the reaction to England's crushing defeat by Australia in the 2013-14 Ashes.

Author and former professional cricketer Ed Smith played three test matches for England, but admits to feeling a sense of personal pain that he did not fulfil his original aspiration to play more than 50.

“Start Quote

If the failure was our own fault we become more tolerant of human error”

End Quote Author and former professional cricketer, Ed Smith

Smith says failing can help "conquer a sense of entitlement", and relieve the pressure we place on ourselves. The more practice we get at failing, the more equipped we are to deal with it, says Smith.

"As an experienced player I try to think about losing and then regaining form as like putting the wheels back on a bike," says Smith. "The first time is the hardest, you're not sure you'll ever get moving again, but once you've experienced a few cycles of boom and bust, the dark days are less daunting. Having watched the wheels fall off before, we are better equipped to put them back on again."

He says that off the playing field, failure can also encourage a greater sense of empathy and understanding.

"If the failure was our own fault we become more tolerant of human error, and if the failure was the result of external factors, of circumstance - an unkind coalition beyond our control - then we learn about the limits of willpower and self-determination. We see how our own agency interacts with context and fortune."

Violinist Vanessa-Mae came last in her event at Sochi 2014, but was thrilled with her achievement

Learning to embrace failure means we still have to be honest about the amount of effort we put in to any venture.

Within the business field, for example, the failure rate is high. Over 80% of start-up businesses fail within the first five years. Stewart McTavish, director of IdeaSpace in Cambridge - a community and support network for entrepreneurs - says they encourage people to make a distinction between honest and dishonest failure.

"If your venture doesn't work out, but you did everything you could to make it a success, that's what we call an honest failure, and that's seen as an honourable thing," says McTavish.

"Whereas if your venture didn't work out because you spent too much time at networking events, you weren't doing your customer research and you were just lazing around, then that's what we would call a dishonest failure."

If failure can train us to be more courageous in life, we should also be just as brave at recognising and shouting about success.

The year after failure week, Wimbledon High School ran "blow your own trumpet" week. As Hanbury explains, it is not only time to take the "sting out of failure" but also the "embarrassment out of pride."

The Effectiveness of Self–Reflection

By Kazuhiko Sato, Business Consultants, Inc.

Limits to what is possible to achieve are created by our actions and limits to our actions are created within our minds. The phlosophy, values or ideas behind our actions can be reffer to as mental model. So in order to remove limits to our possiblities we have to change our mental models.

What is Self-Reflection

Having recently made a mistake that caused trouble and worry for others, I was recommended by my supervisor to set aside some time each day to make self–reflections and write them down. Self–reflection is like writing a diary, where you look back on the day’s events and write them down. Through self–reflection, you revise your mental model and make changes to your own actions. Sometimes you really do not know what is going on and what you are doing as the day goes by. You perform actions that might prove detrimental towards your potential goals, or the goals of others or a business, but you may not actually realize what you are doing is hindering possible growth. However, by looking back at the actions, what took place and what you did during a given event, you are more likely to recognize these issues and identify what might be the trigger points for these activities and actions.
The steps that are required in order to create such a self-reflection journal include:

1. Write down what you experienced during the day. Always write down the events at the end of the day and never skip a day, as events become much more difficult to discern, which in turn might cause you to forget aspects of the event or mentally alter the event entirely
2. Deduce the mental model to which your actions were attributed
3. Identify the starting point of when you first came to the understanding of these specific events and when you started to think or act the way that you do (you might not be able to remember the very first time, but attempt to think back as far as you possibly can).
4. Think of what mental model you should have or what actions you should take in the future in order to be more successful. By noting what you need to do in order to be more successful, you are more likely to actually perform these actions and correct the situations that are causing the problems.

Results of Self-Reflection

After one month of practicing the activity, I began to realize that my everyday life — which had seemed rather uneventful — was, in fact, made up of a variety of experiences. I then came to see that behind everything I said or did, there lay a set of my own preconceptions. As a result of continuing this process of reflection, I became more attentive to people’s facial expressions and words so that I could grasp their intent without being influenced by my preconceptions. I was able to spend time being more focused. That is, the mental model that had been built inside me over many years — which lay behind the actions that caused my mistake — was beginning to change, and my actions began to change too.
While self–reflection is effective for preventing the same mistakes from happening twice; it started off originally as an approach for promoting actions that lead toward achieving more. It is clear that in transforming one’s behavior or engaging in innovative endeavors, the person’s mental model influences the outcome. In order to be successful at various things, I intend to not only learn new skills and acquire information, but to also value these moments of inner self–reflection.
By using these specific techniques for individuals inside of the office or place of work, it gives everyone the chance to see where they can improve and work towards their ultimate goals.